Virtue is Virtually New Again

I was recently on a flight to New York and the gentleman sitting next to me asked me what I do. That is a dangerous question to ask since I could ramble on about K4J and what I do. But, I decided to take it easy on the guy. I just told him that I help create virtue education programs for kids. "Oh that is great" he replied, "I think virtual education is the way to go". Well, I was not sure if he really did not know what a virtue was or he did not hear me correctly and so I very carefully described our program so he would not become offended by my correction. But the truth is he did not know what a virtue was or why virtue was important.

Honestly, there was a time that I would have been in the same boat. We do not hear the word a lot and yet we spend a great deal of time on virtue education. Each time we try to teach a child to be patient, respectful, modest or generous, we are working on virtue. Each time we teach a child to stay away from something that could harm him, we are teaching virtue. Yet for most of us, it is not a deliberate action. It is much more natural and sometimes a reflex that comes from seeing something that our child does, that we do not like.

Teaching virtue does not have to be negative and it can become deliberate. Virtue can become virtually new again. This often requires a shift in the way we approach our children and discipline. Instead of only correcting children when they do wrong, we can find positive ways to motivate them to choose what is good.

Virtue is the predisposition to choose what is good. In other words, we have planted the desire for good in our children. They know what it looks like and they want to go for it. Whether you are at home, in the classroom, acting as a catechist or just being a friend, the results will be the same. You can help a child learn to be in control of themselves and become a leader.

To do the job well requires a few elements. The K4J Method has these 4 main elements built into the program and that is why it is successful. You can try them too.

1. Children need to understand what the good choice looks like. Therefore they need models that will enable them to clearly understand the joy of choosing virtue.
2. Children need to recognize their own faults. They have to do this on their own. It will not do any good to point them out. This is another reason why modeling is so important and a quiet conversation about the day or an examination of conscience at the end of the day can help.
3. Children need practical and clear steps to take to overcome their faults and replace them with virtue. For instance, in the Spark in the Dark Mission, kids learn to ask their parents, "What can I do to help?" each day. The virtue of service can easily be exchanged for a child's laziness or lack of concern for the other.
4. Children need to see their progress makes them happy. This does not always have to be done through tangible rewards but it sure doesn't hurt the young child in the beginning.

You will see a child virtually mature before your eyes when you help them practice virtue. It does not have to be done with a tough and stern parent or teacher barking orders. In fact, I would argue that a child that is constantly rebuked, just learns to comply because he is not self motivated to form himself. Children who choose to form themselves in virtue become virtuous adults. Besides, now learning virtue is fun!